The Real "Rules" For Dating My Children.

"A person is a person no matter how small."

- Dr. Seuss

As a parent, I understand that urge to protect your children from whatever may cause him or her harm. Especially when it comes to the possibility of them growing up and dating. It sets a certain amount of fear into us. How long can we prevent it, and is there any way to stop it indefinitely? 

Unfortunately, children grow up, and this is just a part of their lives we have to cope with. Think of when they started taking their first steps. It's scary! These little people, walking around in this big world. They might fall and get hurt. In most cases, they did get hurt. But we were always there to pick them up, kiss the booboos away, and encouraged them to keep moving. 

Which is why when I see pictures like this

And this

I have to wonder what logic parents see behind it? Why are we treating our children like property? 

"She's my princess, not your conquest." No, she is not my princess. My daughter is not a damsel in distress. She is a strong, independent young lady. She is intelligent enough to make the right choices. And that includes choosing the right time to have sex. Why? Because I trust myself as a parent to teach her everything she needs to know about sex. 

"You hurt her, I hurt you." No, I won't. That is a part of life. You fall in love, and you get your heart broken. If you hurt her, I want you to know what a wonderful young lady you are losing in your life. But the truth is, I will be too busy comforting my child to bother with you. As for physical pain, well, like I said, my daughter is no damsel in distress and I assure you, she will repay you. 

"Get a Job." I can promise you my daughter will not need you to financially support her. Your money, or lack thereof, is your own business. I'm not raising a daughter who will be dependent on anyone, myself and her father included, for any reason. 

"Understand I don't like you." Fair enough. But honestly, my like or dislike of you is irrelevant. I am not the one dating you. So long as you are respectful when you come to pick up my daughter, and are respectful towards her, this won't be an issue.

"Understand that I can make you go away." I can't, and I won't try. My sons are intelligent enough to know when an individual is toxic to their lives. If you fall under that category, they will cut ties with you themselves. No prompting from me needed. 

"He's a Mama's Boy." Oh good lord, NO! He is not! He is an independent young man, and a gentleman. He will treat you with the respect. But he is not a mama's boy. I do not, and will not make his life decisions for him.

"If I see any sexts on his phone…" I will not make you go away. I will, however, make him apologize for taking advantage of your low self esteem. I will speak to your parents, and apologize to them as well. And I will help them get you counseling. 

I get it. We want to protect our children from everything. But at what cost? I know some of us would like to hold their child's hand on their first date, or take the trip with them when they honeymoon. The reality is that we can't. We have to let them grow. 

It is our jobs, as parents to teach them to be a good judge of character. We must be the ones to teach them love, and respect should be returned, not squandered and abused. It's really simple. We have to trust ourselves as parents to know that our children can also be trusted. It seems like such a good idea to wrap our children in bubble wrap, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. But the scars that we bare from stumbling are our lives greatest lessons. Why should we deny them the opportunity to learn them as well?

The real rules for dating my children are simple. Treat them with respect, and they will return it in kind. Nurture their dreams, and encourage them to achieve them, and you can hold each others hands on that journey to success.